I forgot to mention that the Road Song Man is a Soccer Player and teaches or coaches that sport too. during the years I lived with an extremely creative and bit neurotic artist, I watched soccer games all the time, because he had played soccer all his young days in Austria and in the US, and coached a couple of the youth teams in Oakland all his middle years. well, anyway, it's quite a game. looks and feels like one of the hardest games ever, once you get to know it. mainly because of how physical you have to be with the ball. with every inch of your body. to control the ball. while being really kind-of 'one' with that ball. so it will move so rapidly. so naturally. exactly where it needs to be. all of the time it's in your possession. how much skill you have to have to even try for a goal. much less make one. and, how much running you have to do. the running is a bear. I could never run that much. even in my best athletic years. the running is like stupendous is big. serious triad of abilities there.
so, just knowing that Road Song Man is a Soccer Person makes him an athlete. a fine athelete. period. serious one. yet, of course, it is a very fun sport to do at times. I've watched people have a wonderful time. very high 'highs' in this sport. but, lots of anger at times. very intense. so he must be those ways inside as well. it goes with soccer. it's a deep place to venture in and into and from. seriously.
and the skiing. he's been a skier. I don't know for how long... I am a wonderfully horrible skier. so I know all about this. having no depth perception to the right, you can only imagine what reading snow on slopes is like to me. I have always just plunged down mountains with the blind faith of an idiot. anything to see the mountains above the snow line. I've seen much beauty in the mountains. I've known what it's like to smile happily at the end of a good run. the feel of powder. the intensity of storm coming in too fast. moving to safely. still, wanting the beginning of the white-out that's barreling in on you. the sounds of skis on the crackle of groomed runs. the no-sound-at-all of being in fresh snow, yet ungroomed. the slip-slide of the ice at the end of the day, when the runs are over-skied with skiers coming down. the way the air and the trees smell...the smells of blues and greens and whites...so I know what it must be like - a little bit I know - for a 'good' skier, which I expect he is. bet he's even taught skiing...bet he was good at that. is, still....
I have no idea where Road Song Man has skied, but I know he has loved those places... he misses it lately, he's written. I bet he misses all the people he's met. the fireplaces warming you. the whole world of snow. forgetting the whole world below the slush line. for days - maybe weeks - at a time. Skiing is one of the Greatest Escapes ever...leaving the human world behind. just you and the mountain and the runs and the snows and the weathers and the trees and the skies under your feet - part of your feet -of your whole body, really - and, sometimes, even the animals you see at times, if you are very lucky...it's grand. so, I suspect he is a grand person when he's skiing. it's what you do up there: be larger than you usually are. part of something more grand....
he must know boats. sailing. canoes. fishing boats with their little motors. and the oars. I've done all these. they all take their own skills. I'm awkward with sails. but an obedient crew person. so worth the trip. but, I bet he does boats with a natural ease... I love canoes... I think for him boats and canoes are just an extension of his body. ways to take his body into the natural world. Sand's too... if you love boats and fishing, then you have a very good thing in life: two for one in the happiness department. I sense he knows this very well.
wonder if he's worked on boats like I have. it's a wonderful thing to be part of building or refurbishing boats. the wood-working and the up-keep are something you have to like doing. really. or you'll never be a good boat person. I bet he can do some of that....
he writes. I don't know how much he realizes that he writes 'well'...but he does write 'well'. he should write and write. he has written quite a bit about corruption at many levels of government and police enforcement in the state where he owns a home. he rents it out. he left there to go on the Road. so being there, getting bummed about all the corruption. which is really there: he's writing about it. even to the President. wanting to keep his 'say' active. to be a whistle-blower. to be accurate and real and dedicated about that. to insist that he loves his America enough to defend her from those who would tear down her values. for power. for greed. to keep writing about that. for getting the word our there as much as he can. this is a good thing to do with good writing. sharing those ideas with the many others who feel just the way he does. who are active the way he is...
he's also creative in his writing, tho. creative and fun. pulls in the mythologies of life. especially of the northern traditions of the peoples who communicated in runes on stone and in legends and demigods and gods and goddesses. he's willing to be whimsical at times. to be a story teller in his writings. he is capable of leaps of imagination...
so then. I hope he will write quite a bit. right now he has a wrist injury healing. but, after that. he needs to write. I think that's true. he needs to write about all of his adventures on the Road. with Sand. he has his own style. his own vision. he should let it all out on the printed page. all of it. it's good work. he can do it....
then there's the singing. the singing is quite real for him...he loves to sing. he must make up some of his own songs. he wants to sing them some day to some one he feels love for. who loves him back. that would be a good thing. very happy for him. for now he sings songs for people he's newly met. for people he knows well. for some he will meet once. then not see again. he must have a good voice. a lot of his singing is karaoke. which he seems to love quite a bit. I would like to hear him sing. because he talks about singing with passion. and I understand that. song is important to me. big, big part of every day of my life. it sounds like song is becoming a big part of every day of his life as well. if so, it's no wonder he has a happy life.
because, I think he does have a happy life. "really happy", he once wrote...he's on the Road. he visits with his friends and makes new friends. perhaps he has intimate times with his women friends. perhaps he chooses other ways to love people. I don't know. he travels with the weather. with the waters. to where it's warmer. to places where he'll be comfortable in his RV. comfortable with the people. where the singing is good. where the fishing is good. where nature is easier to reach. to live among... where there are like-minded people who want America to be a meaningful country for people to live out their dreams. for there to be places where the birds and the animals and the fish will thrive. where nature is abundant. where people can be natural with each other. can defend each other from human harm and violence. where ever that is. whoever is hurting them: stopping those who hurt the people. even if that means trouble. working against trouble. like the fireman he still is. but, being happy in the here-and-now, too. doing OK on the pension. being well. playing his sports. playing with the boats and the fly rod and the skis and the soccer ball and the songs and with his imagination. playing with life. in a good way. in a kind way. a gentle way. with Sam. with those who understand him. who love him. who like him. even to play with those who don't do so well with him. he'll deal with that, too...
I think there's other stuff he's told me about his life, but I can't recall it all right now...I do wonder what he sees for his future...a 'home' again? some one to love who will love him right back? some one who will see him wholly? who will like him just as he is? who will not want him to 'settle down'? who will not nag him into ordinary ways of dealing with life? who will be there, thick and thin? who will embrace all this life the way he does? who will not bore him? who will delight him? or maybe, he feels he needs no one person at all. maybe he finds everything and every body he needs simply being on the Road. maybe he'll want to just keep going until the going stops. stops him. in his tracks. maybe when Sand dies. then he'll change something. find something else to do. some way to bring his creative self to even more. more 'what'? I don't know. only he would know that. maybe he makes no plans at all. just lives in the real 'moment' the way people talk about doing. the way the zen of life is supposed to go. but rarely does. the way he may know well. but maybe not. I don't know him well enough to know.
probably it could be thought that I love this Road Song Man. I don't. not because I couldn't. my love is all tied up with another right now. that kind of love. more important: I have never actually met him 'in person'... just written. pictures. fine communications. good ones. love usually has to have bodies and faces and voices and the ways someone touches and how you touch back. so no. no love....do I like him? maybe. 'like' is a tame word. has restrictions sometimes... do I understand him? I'm older now. I rarely presume to understand any body any more. it's not important to understand people any more, for me... it's important to try to know them a bit. I do that. to be with them as is natural. to do what naturally happens. not to worry about pushing or pulling in any direction. just being there for them. in this instance, for him. so, I'm there. just watching and listening and reading. just paying attention. perhaps that's what we all just need. some attention without judgement. maybe even without love, if love isn't there. if it is, good. if it's not, good.
The Road Song is good. the Singer is good: that much I know...
so here is the end of this story as I know it. I've paid attention. here is my attention...
sing this as you will....
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