CHARACTER STUDY
She's walkin' out the tide on the beach to the sea. She's got her arms folded over her chest because it's pretty cold out. so, retaining some core body heat close to her chest. I say chest cuz she's too padded to think 'breasts' - she doesn't have a bit of sexy about her person at present...maybe in the Spring, when she'll wear some gauze dress that flows about in the sea winds. maybe not. who knows? sandals - she's got them on without socks...and the jacket is down, maybe, with a hood. of course. and the pants are jeans. that's all you can see. her face is brown tho. she's maybe a Latina or a Black or maybe a mixed person. can't quite tell. full, with red cheeks from this cold. which is piercing here on this beach. I'm here with my dog, Shnazz. he's a good-enough dog. we get along. he's almost too big for my apartment tho. so I gotta get him out onto the beach at least once a day, or both of us would go bonkers with his clumsy self. anyway...she's walkin' closer to the surf all the time. I get this fantasy that she's just gonna keep walkin' right into the little lappin' waves of the sea, which is being pretty quiet and calm this morning. she's walkin' slow like she is thinkin'. she's also takin' photos with her cell phone or camera or something. I think about whether people would really kill themselves by walking into a really, really cold ocean on a very cold day. it seems like you would be uncomfortable for a quite a long time. she surely is taking a lot of photos tho. so maybe probably she's OK. I'm personally not doing so hot. I feel all casual a lot of the time. but, mainly, I'm way lonely. there's no friends left for me from school. graduated from college just this fall. now I have nothin' to do. all my few friends moved away. the job I thought I'd get right away never happened. some of my so-called friends moved 'back home' as they say. I wouldn't do that cuz I can't do that. my dad has Altzheimers and my mom is pretty sick and tired of that. if I came home to sponge offa her, she'd have a cow. I've told them I'm going around looking for work, but I've never done that one day. I go on-line and look a little, though. I know Id be better off being around people. only I don't talk with people at all any more. have no idea whatsomever what I'd say. so I say nothing. I even cut my phone service, since I only use the net. only I don't go onto the computer except for games. none of those people care - the ones who 'play' the games with me. I don't think they have any idea who they're playin' with...a college grad without a job and not even lookin'. then there's the music. I used to play guitar a bit. no more. I'm just sittin' around livin' off the money my mom still sends, cuz she thinks I'm still in school, too. lying is gettin' easier all the time. so anyway, I'm startin' to walk out on the tide too. just now, I noticed I'm in up to my ankles and now my calves. I've got on jeans too. now I can see: she's photographing me goin' into the waves more than her...I bet a make a great shadow figure against the sunlight, which is bright this day. maybe I even look real manly... I take off my jacket and throw it back up on the beach. she shouts at me 'Hey! it's cold in there. get outta there! she has a nice low voice only she's yellin' at me, so I walk in some more. up to my waist now. start to swim. don't know what in the hell I'm doing except I'm swimmin' out. just 'out'. into the tide going out. then I feel the rip. forgot about the rip. it runs in about here - now that I remember. I start to try to swim out of it. the girl is yellin' at me more, but I can't figure what. I swim and swim and nothin' is happenin'...I feel a moan come outta me. and I hear my dog barkin' his head off and the girl screamin. there seem to be others real far away on the beach. they're runnin' into the water after me I guess. I'm just paddle paddle my arms and not goin' anywheres. gettin' real tired and now scared too. it's takin' forever for them to get to me. I'm gonna probably die here. which is not such a bad place to go. then suddenly outta no wheres is my dog tryin' to grab my arms flailin' away. and other hands and arms and people attached to em. it takes four guys to pull me out. they pull my sorry ass up onto that beach and cover me with beach towels and stuff. they're all hypin' what was goin' on and vampin' on how they rescued me and stuff. I made their f-in' day and I got to say I'm glad for it. and there's the girl, lookin' all concerned and kindly and stuff. I took pics of the Whole Thing she confides to us all. she's a little breathless and she's proud of her self. wanna see the pics, she asks me, almost shy. sure, I hear my self say. show me the photos of how I almost died. walkin' into the tide. forgettin' the rip tide goin' with it. gettin' rescued and stuff. how I was alive once. almost dyin' was as alive as I'm gonna get. that's for certain. let me see them photos. let me see em.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment