HAWAII - ONE OF TWO IN PARADISE
I have been to Hawaii two times in my life. both times were completely, completely different. Still, the islands I spent time in, Kauai, and the Big Island, Hawaii, were, well...the Oddest of Adventures, each in their own ways...especially the earlier of the two....
I was a 'single parent' with three kids, ages, at that time, eight, seven, and five, two girls and a boy. They were sturdy little kids, full of fun and very bright and good hearted. We, well, I thought of ourselves as a Pack, a Mama Alpha without a mate at yet, and three strong, soon to be alpha pups. I even called them my 'Puppy Pack', when they would tumble into play and laughter...We had taken many, many camping trips, and my kids had managed to have a very good time in rainstorms, snows, hot weather...they were very adaptable and capable children! I tell you this so that you'll see how Kauai was with them along side of me...why they were not the reason that Paradise went awry for me....
Kauai still is, I'm sure, an amazingly beautiful, beautiful small island, set like a green-blue stone in the bracelet that is the Hawaiian Islands. Before we even landed, I was amazed and pleased! We had been invited to go to this jewel by the fellow I was dating at the time, a reasonably wealthy only son of a geologist, (who I much appreciated after he had taken me out into the desert in Arizona at five in the morning and showed me the blooms as they open...the father showed me, that is...), who was a chemist/executive at Standard Oil. (he is still referred to today, I'm afraid, as "Kathy's Standard Oil Executive!) He loaned us four hundred dollars for the trip, and he would pay any other expenses. I agreed, as I much enjoyed having my kids see the 'world' as much as we could, being the genteel poor folk that we were! My house-mate, a good friend and an art student with a huge white fluffy dog, was to also be our traveling companion. What a mix of joy and unhappiness was ahead of me in the jungle growth of this lovely Island!
Our travel plan was to hike the Napali Coast, into a campsite, to camp there overnight for a few days, while we explored this, one of the grandest coasts on earth! My children would each carry their own sleeping bags, attached to their study little backs on small Kelty Packs with their clothing changes. Each of we adults would carry a large pack with the tents, sleeping bags, cooking gear, and foods. Weights distributed evenly, we set off down the trail. We had left behind any unneeded clothing in our rental car. At the time, I noticed that my SOE (Standard Oil Executive!) had left behind way too many valuable things. I had warned him not to bring stuff like hair dryers and good luggage and so on to our Island adventure. Everyone knew that cars were broken-into all of the time if you left them anywhere overnight...but, after reminding him, I figured it was his business. We others left behind nothing that any one would need or want...
The trail was glorious with views of the sea. truly balmy breezes. a soft sun. small land turtles on the trail. an occasional bright flash of some colorful, exotic bird in the trees. ferns as large as the children. guava you could pick off the trees and eat right on the trail! We were so excited and happy! We even walked into a small waterfall, and swam with delight in its cool, lovely pool...we were obviously in Paradise on Earth!
The kids were troopers, of course! They marched along cheerfully with their little blue and red packs...occasionally, my little five year old fellow would lie down off the trail on his back like a turtle, on his back with its pack and gear, and rest for a bit, but he was soon scampering along again...we reached the first campground, and set up the tents and all the gear into them, and prepared for a swim. This was the time when my SOE began to show his true colors...he insisted that someone had to stay with the tents. We pointed out that we could see them from the place where we would be body-surfing, and that nothing that was in them was valuable at all. We all had our money and stuff in waterproof small packs that we were wearing...it was then that he told us all the things that he was carrying in his pack...all unnecessary, valuable things, that weren't needed at all for our trek along the coast! A bit put-out, my room-mate and I suggested that we go into the ocean with the kids first, and then we'd come back and watch his stuff so that he could go in. He agreed, quite put-out that I wasn't staying with him. He sat down by his tent, which he had removed from the two that we had set up for the kids and ourselves...
Into the waves we went! We body-surfed with the kids and played on the beach for about an hour, and then came back up the trail to where he was sitting. The first thing I noticed was a bad smell. The second, was his bad sunburn! A very fair-skinned man, he had sat out in the tropical sun for the whole hour without any protection at all! Now, he was red as a beet! The smell was from his tent...he had set it up right on some body's latrine site...that is, a little less nicely, but more accurately, on a pile of shit. We five couldn't help ourselves! We burst out laughing!...Then of course, we attempted to treat his severe sunburn with aloe we had brought with us...it was time to eat...
We five went into our routine for camping of preparing and cooking and serving a good camp meal, and of cleaning up afterwards, while he sat and we waited on him...as we set up, very tired, for bedtime, he informed me that he expected me to sleep with him in his tent! I told him, as patiently as possible, that I always slept with my kids on camping trips, for Their security and comfort as little guys...but that he was welcome to scoot in with us if he wanted...I didn't mention that sleeping on a latrine in Paradise had not been my dream, anyway...he went up to his tent, we to ours, and slept well enough, I recall!
The next day, we fed him breakfast, and then we packed up to go...he was shifting his pack in every which direction, making it clear that he was carrying too much. My room-mate and I shifted some of his stuff into our packs...he was still passive and uncomfortable. We took more of his stuff and packed it into the kid's packs. Finally, I had to tell him that we all were packed to the gills, and that he needed to deal with the pack as it was. He looked very sourly at me, and told me that he had been very jealous of me body-surfing nude with the kids. he said guys had been looking at us. I pointed out that every single person on the beach was nude, and that it was natural here. he said he had been watching me with his binoculars! I gave him a little lecture on being paranoid in Paradise, and off we trekked.
We spent two more nights on the Coast going in about eight miles and back out again. He never once went into the ocean. he never helped cook. he pouted in his tent all alone every night. he never carried anything extra...during the day he was civil enough...the kids just ignored him. They usually ignored adults who were not interesting and who were rude to them or ignored them. My room-mate and I made sure the kids had a great time every day, so we had our great time with them!...back to the car we were coming, tired, but reasonably happy.
The car had been broken-into of course, thanks to his, now absent, possessions. He seemed even more furious to note that none of our stuff had been stolen! I remarked that our clothing was probably more worn than the Islander's clothes were...then I went off to call the police about the break-in, and the rental car people too....
Back on the road, we were all silent. He had informed us that he had a surprise for all of us...we didn't know whether to look forward to that or not! On the way to the 'surprise', only my son was making any sound, humming to himself little songs he was composing in his head...at one point he stopped for a bit, and I asked him, "What happened to the Band playing your piece?" He answered, quite sincerely, "They're taking a Break!" His humor got a laugh out of all of us! The tension broke a bit, and we all decided to start over again...
The "surprise" was Poipu Beach, one of the best snorkeling spots on the Island! We were excited again, and wondered where the camp site was! Turns out, there wasn't a camp site there...just expensive motels and hotels...he had rented two rooms in a fancy one...one for the kids and our house-mate...and one for him and me....my heart fell. I really wanted to avoid any physical contact, any more, with this guy. I just didn't like him any more at all. I demurred, reminding him that we five didn't have money for this kind of place. He proudly informed us all that the rest of the trip was his treat...that this was the Hawaii experience he really loved...not the camping part....so we piled our dirty, camp-worn selves into our separate rooms, reassuring the kids that Mom was right next door, and they could knock on the door whenever they needed me...hint. hint....! But first! We were going snorkeling!
Kauai's fish by the thousands! The sea turtles! the star fish! their colors! schools! shapes!...all so very, very beautiful! We all had masks and snorkels for the trip,and we all had so much fun all day!...then came evening...he took us out to a fancy restaurant, in the last of our clean clothes...he had purchased more for himself...we looked like a band of gypsies being fed by the lord of the manor! We were all a little subdued by the high-falutin' treatment, as we weren't used to it at all...and, I was starting to realize: we didn't prefer this way of life...not with this man, anyway...
Came the night fall...I took lots of time washing the kid's clothes by hand with my room-mate and hanging them up all over the place. We helped them bathe and get ready for bed. I tucked them in. They fell asleep right away, darn it...and then, I had no more excuses....off into our little private bedroom I went, dragging my feet all the way...when we were in bed, he told me a long, and actually very sad story, about how horrible his honeymoon with his now, of course, divorced wife, had been. That he was hoping for this trip to heal his wounds about that trip. He told me she found him "petulant" and "controlling" and "passive"...took the words right out of my mouth, I thought...then, I sighed, and we made something, but it wasn't love, and it was barely sex. None of my self was there anyway. I can't speak for him. I just wanted to go home with my little family as soon as possible...
Which, luckily, was the very next day! We were all quiet and sleepy on the plane. The ride home in the cab was pretty silent too, for such a usually exuberant group! We pulled up to our little house under a redwood tree, and all piled out, eager to be home again...We all carried in the gear, and our ungracious host started to tell the cabbie that he could leave. I told him "No. Please stay. This guy is leaving with you." Very surprised, my SOE turned, very upset to me! "I'm staying over night.", he informed me tersely. "No." I said firmly. "You're not. You are not to see me tonight or, actually, ever again. You Do know why. So, don't tell me that you don't."
I sent the kids with our room-mate, very willingly, I might point out, to the kid's room, to start getting ready for bed. They didn't tell him goodbye or thank him or anything. He didn't even look at them. His eyes were just boring into me. "You owe me four hundred dollars." he barked hoarsely. Suddenly I saw 'Red'. "No. I don't.", I told him. "you owe Us four hundred dollars for Using us, Mistreating us, and making us completely miserable. Plus, you owe me for the night in the hotel!". He blanched. "I'm not kidding." I told him. "I am truly sorry that your life with women has been so bad, but that's not my fault, and I'm not your solution. You are Your Own Responsibility". He was shocked enough that I was able to close the door on him with no great difficulty.
It didn't take long to realize that he was still waiting outside in the driveway. I decided that enough was enough. I called the police. When they came, he intercepted them with an apparent earnest conversation. They seemed to listen politely, and then one of them came up to the door. I opened the door and let him in..."There's a...ummm...Standard Oil Executive out in your drive way who says that your call to us is just a mistake. It's just an argument between you two, because you are girlfriend and boyfriend. Is that right, Lady?"
I sighed. "Sir.", I said. "This guy is a Standard Oil Executive, but he is Not my boyfriend, and I am Not his girlfriend. I want him off my property Now. You can tell him that, if he ever comes back onto my property again, I will get a Restraining Order against him, and I'll call his boss at Standard Oil, too." The guy actually grinned from ear to ear. "I will be Happy to tell the Standard Oil Executive Exactly what you told me to tell him...Good night, Lady!"....
I never heard from my SOE again...I guess he was scared of my, (adequate but hardly worldly) Command Of The Situation! Who knows, Maybe I had really hurt his feelings...but, he was such a damaged man...I would have never been able to raise my wonderful kids around him, even if I could have found some way to care for him....
Still, you know, he Did give us an Hawaiian Island...there were times I was really happy there, because of the kids having so much fun!...and, of course...the sunsets. the sudden soft, warm rains. the fruits, so fresh and lovely. the birds in startled flight, all color and song. the waves, the constant, glorious, warm waves. the sands, clean and fine. the fish! the fish! the sounds of Island. the foods of Island. the feel of Island...
It would be many years before I returned to the Hawaiian Chain. with another man, a good man. to better times...
The pictures my room-mate took of our 'adventure' were soon lost, and never were found.
I remember it all though. I remember...
Paradise has costs, as everything has costs. There is no Free Paradise.
Still, there are sights. sounds. colors. lovliness...
that is something, then...
It is Paradise enough....
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