SENSATIONS IN LILAC is a testament to my six senses...yes! to all Six of them.....

SENSATIONS IN LILAC

there are these Sensations, these Feasts of the Six Senses - yes, all Six of them... that will make me happy completely at once, no questions asked...these are only a few of the Sensations of Life that I have loved 'living'...I'm so thankful for all of my Senses...that I have them is a miracle that bring me to Life, and Life to me...and I haven't even included Foods and Drinks - and the Dreams of Night! too many Sensations! Life is so FULL!....

The first is Flowers...the smells, the beauties, the petals....
I love roses...especially deep, deep red roses and also, St. Joseph's Coat....
then Daisies...mostly daisies in the Midwest, out in the fields...swinging in the winds across the faces of the corn. white and pure and golden-hearted....
the tiny, devastatingly deep violet of ceanothis flowers, blooming for months here in California...
the woodsy, delicate perfume and surprise of violets in rain, against forest green grasses....
clean, fresh lavender in my soap and face-and-body lotion and in so many California yards wild and fragrant, purple, free to pick the blossoms, crush them between your fingers...smell your fingers...put the blossoms in your pocket....
white lillies of the valley...pristine and perfect, barely past the time of the snows...along the path to the garden....

but mainly, my darlings, Lilacs....Lilacs.... Midwestern Lilacs always bring me warm Spring memories of kisses in St. Charles, Illinois... mainly with my first totally real Boyfriend, my First True Love, in my Senior year of High school... Lilacs of such profusion, such sweet silvery whites, such dreamy soft lavenders, such odors of glorious winter-end and new growth and life and love, that fainting from happiness near lilacs was an exact possibility....I had high hopes under lilacs. I would sit still under lilacs and allow lilac-ness to permeate me. to make me feel desirable. and beautiful. I expected to make love under Lilacs...maybe for my First Time. But, that never happened...not under Lilacs....
there are California Lilacs...but they are not quite as powerful. not quite as magic....

The second quick-shot of happiness comes whenever I am near water...Water. any water, actually....
but, especially, Water out-of-doors....lakes. ocean. streams. ponds. ice....and King of All Water: Rivers...Being in Water is safety for me. is Peace. Is Life itself...is Home...the smallest stream pleases me enormously...the Finest Waterfall makes me sing inside...every single time....

a River Moves. that is the source of it's great beauty...
River moves over me and around me and under me with strong hands. holding me like a baby. holding me as a woman. holding my heart and rocking me in its current with grace and joy. carrying me home to the sea far, far, far away. giving. not taking: Life. clear and fresh and changing, always changing. the banks bow to River's power and the Trees bow to River's command. the stars fall and follow and do not reflect. nothing still. all dancing. all movement. all sensation....

I have loved kayaks and rafts on Rivers...but nothing has been like Canoe. Canoe and River. I can be in a canoe on a river forever without wanting to be anywhere else for any reason on earth at all. my canoe springs like an animal through the thin River. through the full River. it sings its own song... even of the peace of Lakes from which it leaves...to which it runs...the birds on Quiet Waters...

Diving beneath the ocean waves ...on this very coast of California! The sights and sounds and colors and beauty of all that Animal and Plant and Water World to see and feel and hear...and to breathe in! to actually Breathe under water, with all that wonderful scuba gear! To be able to be part of Forests of Kelp and Sea Walls of crystals of animals and plant life...to do this with others! Every sensation being Magic! for over twenty years!...I Love the Ocean the way you love a person....

I wear earrings. I am fond of earrings. have lots of pairs. they are part of my every day and even change-at-night 'wear'. I wear them....
Rings are another matter.
Every ring I've ever worn has had a meaning. Every ring I have ever worn has left my fingers and traveled some where else in time and space. when its work was done. when its time was done. when its magic was done.
I have loved the weight. the feel of Rings. on my fingers....

At present, I've taken off my last wedding rings. a band of white gold, that fitted under a cocktail ring from the 1930s of gold, with eight tiny little rose-chip diamonds. since he had proposed to me on the eighth night of Hanukkah....eight years ago. I can still see the marks from them at the base of my ring finger on my left hand, tho they are fading away daily. Love can fade away like that. can be solid, but not permanent. can fade away like the marks of rings on fingers....
My first band was plain white gold. the second was Hopi Guild Silver with inlaid patterns in the silver. one engagement ring, that never was a marriage, was silver and amber...giving away all these rings. the men are gone....find a ring, and put it round.

I'm wearing my Dad's silver and turquoise ring from Arizona, where he was happy and riding horses all the time...I'm giving this ring to Denny. who is my best friend, now that Pops is gone. It's a promise being kept, finally, some how. what the promise will become, I don't know. but this Ring is his. my Dad would have wanted him to have it. he is the full circle of all of this Love. which was spent well. then mis-spent in time. and is over. he is new all the time. for that. and for loving my father, I am holding the ring for him. it's his. no matter what happens. without him, I'd never have rolled back the stone....

I've given away, in my time, many rings: my mom's turquoise pinky ring, to my oldest daughter. several rings, including my own turquoise ring, that I wore for forty years. I just took it off one day. the turquoise in it flowed like a river across my finger. but it was done. it was time for it to go...I gave that one to my second daughter...other rings have traveled too...some have been lost. some have been found. some have been given away because a person asked for it....some, because the ring seemed to belong to that other person.
often, the rings have been moonstones....I love my birthstone of moonstone more than the other, pearls. pearls are colder. moonstones....borrow the light, to be warm and welcoming....
I would like one more ring. and the dear knows who I'll marry - or not! - love for us is our tourquise rings...both worn on the little fingers of our left hands....

Now. about Music. about Song! If I did not have Song all day long, I would not be my Self. I would not be alive. truly, not alive at all! I can live without much food. I'm sure of that. I could live on, well, very little Water. tho, for more reasons then the obvious, I need Water. But, Song. Song is my breath. I breathe in song. I breathe out song. all my skin sings. once, I almost lost my throat. almost lost the box where my voice lives. woke to song... cried for joy....

I would and Do serve Song all my days. It hardly matters what the Song is. what language it is contained within. the beauty is what I search for. if the song has beauty. then I am in the Song. I serve it, and am no longer alone. I add my song to others. my voice rises to blend with every voice. it is a true happiness....

Dancing! the movement of my body - alone or with others! Ballroom - Folk - Latin - Modern - Ballet: I've LOVED all Dance through the years and years of childhood and adult decades too! To Move to Music! With Others! This has been such Great Joy in my Life! All my senses ringing with rhythm and Music! Thrilling!

Skin. all my life. to touch the body of Other. the babies. the children. the old. the sexual. the adults in need. for love. for like. for fondness. to relieve pain. to relieve desire. to relieve loneliness. to bring comfort. to bring joy. to bring safety. to bring hope. to bring healing. to bring sex. to bring others home. to self....
always having to think...appropriate. respect, kindness. love without pain. without offense....to touch my self, as well...
I love the skin of human beings I love. without reserve. without shame. without causing pain....
It is, for me, simply the best kind of Loving....

So, there are only some of the Sources of my deepest Happinesses. my true Joys.

touch my life with these pleasures, and I am away where all is true and beautiful and right in this world. at once.....

My Senses sing and thrill to these Wonders of Living -

and I am thank-full...
always...Thank Full.....